The Creature Bugged Me

Stephanie, my favorite Brit Lit teacher ever (who hasn't actually read some of the books we were supposed to read, but that's a whole new can of worms) has sent me 5 "completely inane" interview questions, which I will proceed to answer here. And since this is an interactive thing, when you get to the bottom, there are some instructions. Now, let's get the show on the road:

1. If you had a band, what would be the group's name and what would be the title of your first smash hit?

I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit lately, like for at least a couple minutes every month. The band name I've been tossing around for a while is the Ice Factory Sellouts, but that sounds more like a punk rock band. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the band I'm thinking of would play more mellow rockish songs, sort of like Coldplay mixed with Counting Crows. So I think I will shorten the name to The Ice Factory. The hit song would be Sad Eyes, which would be a mildly sappy song about a girl I saw who always looked sad. In fact, I was messing around with Paint Shop Pro the other day, and made up a pretty lame promotional graphic. (Thanks to Bri-Bri for inspiration.)

2. What personal trait do you wish you possessed (or possessed more of)?

Self-searching... Self-searching... Self-searching... I'm sorry, your search returned no results.
This is a tough call. I'm assuming this is a personality trait, not just a personal trait. If it was a personal trait, I'd probably rather be built a little less like a toothpick. But personality-wise, I think my biggest shortcoming is in the humility department. It has a huge effect on many other aspects of my personality. A lot of times I look back on something, and in my 20/20 hindsight, I realize I was a total jerk, only because I thought I was cooler or smarter or somehow superior to the other individual(s). Also, I think pride has the potential to hurt any relationship I have, whether with friends, strangers, or even God. Going to a school that was mostly engineers was a wake-up call, because there were a lot of people there who were WAY smarter than me. Getting involved in Churchbass has made me realize that relative to many folks, I suck on the bass guitar and should practice a lot more than I currently do. And usually I get periodic kicks in the face to remind me that I'm not better than somebody just because they look different than me. That line of thinking is so conceited; comparing other people to myself as if I were perfection (same goes for being judgmental about others' behavior, but I won't get into that here). In summary, I could use a super-size helping of humility.

3. Describe the perfect meal: the place, the menu, the guests, etc.

Please note: perfect does not equal practical. Place would be out in the woods somewhere, like Silver Falls Park (only not on a trail). The meal would open with some rye bread and Roadhouse's honey butter, then straight to the main course, with prime rib, twice-baked potato, and maybe asparagus or some other veggie. Afterwards, we'd be served some frozen lemonades or something refreshing like that, to sip while we talk into the summer twilight. Oh yeah, the guest would be none other than the love of my life, *******. Unfortunately, I don't know who that is yet. But this meal will happen sometime.

4. What's the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?

Hmm, very tough question... Actually, I think this would take months of exhaustive thought and reflection. I don't think that kind of time investment would be prudent at this juncture, so I will just throw one out that was pretty dang awesome, although not necessarily the all-time nicest. When I was at school trying to figure out who I really was, in the Deep South a long way away from home, a family in my church took me under their wing, fed me on Sundays after church, let me drive their Corvette, and basically were my substitute family. It was great. And now that I'm new in Pittsburgh, another family has sort of taken up where the last one left off. It's so awesome having people that are all about being nice to you. When I get old, I hope I'm that nice.

5. If you could change your name to anything other than the one you have (which I know is already highly original, so just humor me here...) what would you choose and why? A middle name too?

Yes, John is a highly original name, so I don't really see any reason to change it. But if I were forced at gunpoint to choose a less exciting name, maybe I would be Uther Pendragon. Given its oldness, I don't think they had middle names back then, and since it is such a great name I don't think it even really needs a middle name. The main reason I would choose this, other than its huge coolness factor, is that it was mentioned in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, whereas my current name was not.

And since my friend likes to be rebellious, she sent a sixth one along too:
6. What non-religious book do you think everybody should read?

Not being a literary scholar, but enjoying good books, I would probably recommend people read the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I suppose it is actually three books, but fantastic literature. Also highly recommended is the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I don't know about saying everybody should read these, though, since I know some people are either too lame to appreciate the books, or they have incredibly short attention spans borne out of too many Saturday morning cartoons. For these people I suggest anything with Calvin & Hobbes as part of the title; Bill Watterson is a genius, and even humans with very underdeveloped funny bones can appreciate his writings.

And since I like to be rebellious, I'll answer a question she asked Devon:
What is one grammatical error that drives you insane?

Definitly spelling. I am detail-oriented, sometimes to a fault, and mispelled words drive me completly INSAN!!! The larger-scale errors I can live with, like comma splices (whatever those are), and run-on sentences (the Apostle Paul takes the cake here). But spelling... Oh man, don't get me started. Also high on the list, in this weblog world: overuse of lol, as well as PEOPLE WHO CAN'T FIND THEIR BLOODY CAPS LOCK KEY. LOL!!!!!

Okay, if you want to participate in this interview game, and receive five questions that are all your own, follow the simple instructions below:
1. Leave a comment saying "Interview me," or something of similar intent.
2. I will in turn respond with five questions, prepared specifically for you.
3. You will update your online journal/blog with your answers and an offer to interview those reading it.
4. And when the throngs inevitably flock to your interview offer, interview them.
Please note that I will only be interviewing the first lucky few who respond (actually, I think there are only a few who even know about this blog...).

Peace out~~

in the player: Five Iron Frenzy - "Upbeats and Beatdowns"